Usually you don't need to ask her, because some else has the answer way faster. She's kinda slow to understand what you need exactly. She is confused by your request and offers you first some of her own ideas about commerce in general and Mesoamerican crude oil markets in particular—it goes without saying that you never asked this.
But if everything else fails, she could have your paper. My beloved EBSCO(host). Starting a new session is awfully confusing, you'll be led through a hailstorm of error pages, 404s and 403s, timed-out session IDs and mouldy cookies. Any bookmarks you add (usually 2–3 every time you visit this train wreck) will be rotten by the next time you need to get to your "Advanced Search". But … if you master the Seven Chambers of Shaolin and Commerce™ you'll be presented with a fast, user friendly and huge database of papers. Never mind that your institution pays muy moneda to this or that publisher, sometimes you shall ask EBSCO to get this full-text or that article as PDF (who needs figures and formulas anyways?). Your institution also pays muy moneda to EBSCO, so it's only fair to share the goodies.
Even more annoying than JSTORs "scanned copy of a printed copy of a published document".
